Thursday, June 26, 2014

Musing away...





I sit here in my "office" which is basically a rooftop off the side of my patio.
I have been sitting on rooftops since I could climb. This one is literally a circle space of roof outside of my balcony.  A little gate opens to it, as if it was made for me.

Several dogs are barking throughout the canyons. They are definitely having a conversation because my dog is so ornery by whatever they are saying.
I'm not even sure if that was the proper use of the word ornery, but you know what I mean.

Every time I sit out here is a new experience:)

There is a building on the top of another hill across the way. All glass.
Kinda looks corporate or perhaps a museum of some kind?
I've seen two little figures in all black (I think) walking across that roof to each other, meeting at what seems to be a giant telescope. I have all sorts of ideas about it.

There is also what looks like a stadium. A private music stadium from Ancient Greece. Maybe one of these musicians has their own private stadium to practice or throw private concerts?
The things rich people buy.

Alright, my back hurts from sitting here. I need to find a cozy, comfy, outdoor circle pillow.


P.S.  Pictured above is a bomb photo I took on my second evening here.
Friday the 13th, Full Moon.  Nothing weird about it.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Here's a little secret...


                                      Pain Grows Wings

          A couple years ago, I painted my butt black, bent over and pressed it against a canvas... it was a "My ass in your face" kind of day.






Sunday, June 1, 2014

                                   

                          http://youtu.be/KYV1sp375wc



The MOST MOTIVATIONAL VIDEO ever!!!


I often turn to basketball videos when I need to be pumped up. When I feel fear or insecurity.
When I am doubting myself cause I really don't know what's next.
I know what's working. I see this life I'm dreaming up, unfolding...
I know I'm moving forward and I'm moving fast.
I know where I've been and I know that I trust myself...

but it's still freaking scary! 

Every box in my home is packed and in a week I am going to the home I envisioned and the school I dreamed for Max.
I question if it's even real.
How the hell is this even happening? I'm doing this?

I think about my first night in the new place, alone...

Breathe. 

I'm freaking scared, it doesn't matter how awesome it feels.  It doesn't matter that every time I make little visits to my "new life" as I pack up and purge my "old life" I feel as though I'm floating on a cloud.  Songs like "Somewhere over the Rainbow" and "Swingin on a Star" play.  A soccer ball literally rolled to my feet across a field when absolutely no one was around. I'm sincerely questioning my sanity.

Change is just scary and uncomfortable. Releasing old fears and self doubts- releasing old "stories"
takes constant work.

So- I found this video tonight cause I was wigging out again.

Now I'm like yeah!!! Yeahhh!!! Yesssss!!!!
I have no idea what tommorrow brings but I got this. 

You can too. I hope it inspires you too.

LOVE LOVE LOVE

-S